Dating

The Date

So, now that you have done Step 1 (on-line dating) its now time for Step 2.

Step 2: The ‘Actual’ date

To be honest this part for me is a cross between anxious/fun/scary experience. Anxious – because I wonder which category he is going to fall into and there is always that thought in the back of your mind ‘is he going to fancy me’?

Fun – because you dont usually know where you are going and whats going to happen. I mean will I end up on the river Thames in a giant yacht drinking strawberries and champagne? Or will I end up at McDonalds with a free cheeseburger from my date? The mind wonders….

Scary – is he going to turn up ? Will he be late ? Eeekkkkk will I break my heel on my way over to him (in that perfect Romeo & Juliet moment) will it rain and my fake tan run making me look like patchy orange/brown person from another planet? Will my fake eyelash poke me in the eye or his (in that moment). Will I have lipstick on my teeth and will he tell me?

Yes these are some of the thoughts that cross our minds on route to our Romeo….

When you finally get to the date these are some of the types of guys I have had the pleasure of meeting….

Mr False Advertiser

This guy looks NOTHING like his photo or the current photo you have seen from his online profile. His images were taken 10/15 years previously. This isnt usually the only problem. The guy who you have been messaging for a couple of weeks/months isnt as confident in person as he appears to be on texts messages or even on the phone. (Yes I understand we all get nerves on a first date) But please lieing about your hobbies, films, gigs you have been too is only going to annoy us! The fact that you dont even look like your photos in real life is further deception and it’s not going to contribute into us girls ‘falling at your feet’ or ‘in love with you’.

I saw this online which made me giggle :-

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Granted we all don’t look as ‘airbrushed’ as our photos and of course we only put the best snapshot versions of ourselves online, but please dont lie we will eventually find out and feel like we have been cheated! (Yes all of these apply to us too)

Success rate generally: 40%

Success rate with me: 10%

 

 

Mr ‘not over my ex yet’

To me this is possibly one of the worse kind of dates. This situation is a lose/gain date.

Yes YOU are the loser and he is the one that’s ‘GAINING’. You end up becoming a counsellor to him throughout the date. He usually brings up the topic first of ‘past relationships’ he then goes on and on and on about his EX. How they were together for X amount of years and it just ‘didn’t work out’, yet later on the date you discover that this ‘ex girlfriend’ has suddenly text him about of the blue! Weird…..

You are there to listen to his cries and offer him advice and analyse his past relationship pros and cons to its very death… Please floor swallow me now ;( After a while of this psyco analysiation period he suddenly realised he hasn’t asked you about yours.

My experience I don’t give much away on a first date about ex’s they are my ex for a reason and don’t want troll on about them. My future is front of me.

The problem with this type of guy is he clearly isn’t ready for a relationship or dating and wont be ready for a while. He has jumped into the ‘dating’ way to quickly. The best thing for this guy is just have a good time, drink a few cocktails with a high percentage of alcohol and be home in bed before 10pm. This guy is waste of your time. You have simply been there to offer him counsel and that’s it!

Wave Goodbye and enjoy an early night instead!

Success rate generally: 75%

Success rate with me: 10%

 

Mr Two Dates

So, you have been on at least two dates with this guy. He started off as Mr. Friend Zone (see on-line dating for Mr FZ) but he actually takes it one step further. He seems lovely and you’re smiling at the thought of him. Maybe you can tell your friends about this one? SMC here I come! I mean he has even pre-booked and bought us tickets to the Comedy Store. He actually seems to care, makes interesting conversation and he smells nice, always a bonus. After the date he drives you home and nervously you invite him in for a “cuppa” and well one thing leads to another. It is the second date after all. He has made an effort, so why can’t I? Independent single woman and all of that. You have a great night. No regrets and BAM that is it. Mr. TD lives up to his name.

Next you hear from him it’s all “Hey, I am home alone. Why don’t you come round?”

**What so you think because you made the effort twice I am your personal booty call. Jog on!**

His long game however does guarantee him a higher success rate than the others.

Success rate generally: 65%

Success rate with me: 60%

Mr Voucher 

Yes we have all dated this guy. Penny pincher, tight, drink dodger & voucher user.

We all love a bargain now and then don’t get me wrong. When he whips out a voucher on a first date a little piece of me dies. Yes the struggle is real!

I understand if someone hasn’t got a lot of money and they are watching their funds. If that is true don’t try and take us to a fancy restaurant and use a voucher or even at the end the meal as we offer half towards it say “Are you going to pay half then”? Err yes I was! Give me a flipin’ chance.

I would rather we go for a coffee and a nice walk in the park. Nice date & you don’t have to spend much money. Other ideas include a picnic, art gallery or museum all these options don’t cost much and are usually nice places to go.

Please please don’t use the vouchers or demand money before we have even offered at a restaurant, we probably both cant afford to eat at there anyway.

Yes I do believe in equality and don’t believe in ‘Gold Diggers’ or taking advantage of a guy. Always offer half at the end of the meal (and mean it) if he insists on paying take it as a nice treat and offer to cook for him another time or drinks later on (you’re buying)

But please guys no penny pitching or using coupons/vouchers/your mothers clubcard points it just doesn’t turn us on!

Success rate generally: 80%

Success rate with me: 20%

 

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